This post has been published with the permission of my daughter, Kira.

The last season of 13 Reason’s Why premiered just a few weeks ago. Millions of teens around the world tuned in and have binged watched this controversial show about teenage suicide, rape, depression, and gun violence…among many other things.

Kira and I have watched this show together from the start. I wouldn’t let her watch it without me and we talked about all the heavy issues after each episode. This season, the main character, Clay Jensen, sees a therapist about his issues with anxiety and depression. As I watched it this season, I couldn’t help but think, “It’s about darn time someone on this show sees a therapist!”

No, I’m not telling you to let your teen watch the show. Or even that you yourself should watch the show. Do your research and decide for yourself. And I’m not even going to give you 13 reasons why therapy is good. I shouldn’t have to convince you. That was just a clever title for this post. Or…not…

A few years ago, Dave and I started taking Kira to see a therapist. She was 11 years old and in grade six. She was going through a lot of things – hormones, emotions, things at school, all related to anxiety…lots of things to process, and although Dave and I tried out best to help her out, we couldn’t. I had studied psychology in university, but I wasn’t an expert. And because this was my daughter, that made me the least qualified to help her. So we took her to a psychiatrist and a therapist. She saw a few people until we found one that she clicked with. She stopped going after about a year, but she started again when she was 14 and she still sees one to this day. She’s 16 now.

I once mentioned this to a close family member, and this person gasped and expressed surprise. When I asked why they were surprised, they said, “I can’t believe you just admitted that to me. Maybe you shouldn’t talk about that so openly.” Many friends, when I mention that Kira sees a therapist, look away awkwardly like I’ve just mentioned something sensitive and private. I’m not kidding you. It happens all the time.

Why shouldn’t I talk about this openly? Is taking your child to a therapist something to be ashamed of?

My parents divorced when I was 13. It was really hard on me. I remember having chest pains, I was so upset. I needed a therapist. I asked to speak to someone but was not taken to see anyone. I’m not sure why. Maybe my parents thought it indicated failure on their part? Maybe it just wasn’t done in the 80’s?

One day at school, I sought out my guidance counselor, Mrs. Walker, and I remember sobbing in her office over the lunch hour. I couldn’t compose myself in time for the next class. She called my teacher and told her I’d be late. I guess they spoke over the classroom loudspeaker and the whole class heard that I was with Mrs. Walker. When I finally did go to class, the kids teased me mercilessly about talking to her. I felt very embarrassed. Some of those kids are reading this post right now…

When I got home that night, I remember being afraid that Mrs. Walker had called my parents, and that they’d be mad at me for making them look bad. This was a very real fear I had that I walked around with for a few days.

No one followed up with me. No one really cared that I needed someone to talk to, or why I needed someone to talk to. I’ll be honest – if I’d been given the chance to speak to someone, I’d be a lot less messed up today! 😉

I have to admit, when Kira came home from her very first session with the therapist, I wondered what she had said about me. While I never expressed this to Kira, this crossed my mind the first couple of times she came home after a session. But then I thought, I hope she had talked about me. I’m her mom, for crying out loud. A big part of her life. If she hadn’t mentioned me at all, I was probably doing something wrong.

After all these years of taking Kira to therapy, I’ve seen how it has helped her. She is less anxious in general. She has much more control over her emotions now, regarding school and her friends, the things that gave her anxiety before. Kids these days don’t have it easy. The things they deal with, the pressures they face – we didn’t have to go through the same things, how do we know how to help them? I have no clue! I’ve come to the conclusion that all kids can benefit from therapy in one way or another.  They all can benefit from talking to someone who is not a friend their age, who is not a parent or family member, who is not someone with some kind of vested interest in their life.

And for crying out loud, lets ditch the stigma of taking a child to a therapist.

Kira is in an online therapy session as I publish this post.